Volunteer Feedback

From Glenda Burnett Suddarth, Hospice Volunteer:
In 2002, St. John's Mercy Hospice provided support services to my husband who was terminally ill with cancer. They helped him live out the remainder of his time at home, as he requested, surrounded by loved ones, as pain free as possible, and with compassion and dignity.

In addition to the hospice doctor, nurse, home health aide, social worker and chaplain, two wonderful volunteers, who earned our trust, blessed us. These two remarkable individuals helped us learn to live each day to the fullest. They stood by us, when people we thought were friends turned their backs. Regardless how ugly the scenario became or what changes ravaged his body, they were steadfast in their commitment to us as a family unit.

It is a very frightening ordeal to fight the battle for life because you never know what will happen next or when the battle will end. Many days are like riding a roller coaster on a track so steep that you doubt you can survive the struggle to the summit. Many worries plague your mind and bog you down with fear that can be disabling. Sometimes I was too scared to even share them with the hospice team. Yet, our two volunteers had the uncanny ability to restore our inner strength and help us get through some of the worst days. By sharing their personal stories, it helped us build the confidence in ourselves that then allowed us to openly talk about issues that concerned us.

Both of our volunteers gave of themselves each time they came. Whether they were just giving me a brief reprieve from his bedside or beside me at the bedside, they became in indispensable part of our family. I recall one day when a visitor asked my husband, “Where is your family? Can’t they be with you?” My husband waved his hand around the cluster of his support team gathered around the table: nurse, preacher, volunteer and wife and then said, “This IS my family.” To be surrounded by people you trust and who care deeply about your needs is a comfort we all should be blessed with.

Our volunteers would run to the grocery store for us, assist with cooking a meal when necessary, helped me keep him, the bed and room as sanitary and clean as possible, and brought laughter into a situation where even a smile can be a challenge. My husband thrived on their visits. I became dependent on them to pick up where I left off. They never let us down, nor left us when we were down. It’s the highest compliment I can pay to be able to describe both volunteers as a gift from God.

Losing a spouse is losing your past, present and future. Life will never again be as you once knew it to be. You might be within the same structure you once called home, but suddenly it turns into just a house. The welcome mat is still in front of the door, but never again will your husband cross it. You may well find yourself still wearing full armor to fight the battle, but the battle has ended and you’re left on the battlefield alone. My volunteers stood by me. Their visits and calls coaxed me into figuring out how to continue, even though each day was a new chapter in my life. I honestly and sincerely do not know how or if I would have made it through his death, without my volunteers.

Our volunteers made such an impact on my life that I wanted to be able to do the same for another family in a similar situation. It taught me that people in these situations struggle to find the necessary assistance at a time their stress level is at its peak and their energy level is at its lowest. It might become too uncomfortable for family members to handle or demand more than they are willing to do. Not everyone can hire the necessary help needed. By becoming a volunteer myself, I would be able to assist someone else through his or her passage and in return be given the gift of a priceless experience of friendship.

From Susie Boschert, Hospice Volunteer:
People ask me how can I keep doing Hospice- I say, let me tell you a story, then see if you wouldn’t like to join also….

I walked into the patients room at the Nursing Care facility, and the patients eyes lit up! Veta is dying and she is ready. There are pictures of family, cards and an open bible. I offer to rub lotion on her feet, legs, and hands. We visit for awhile and she tells me about her son…the doctor, her grandchildren and her deceased husband. Then Veta is tired. Before I leave, I ask if there is anything I can do. Veta asks me to pray, pray that she dies. I cry, but, I hold her hand and I pray. Veta asks me if I’m coming back…”Yes, of course! I’ll see you Wednesday!”

Wednesday arrives and Veta is restless when I walk in…I ask her if there is something I can help with and she tells me that she was praying for an angel to come and I arrived! I tell her that I am NOT an angel, however I will try to help her! Veta immediate calms down and we visit. This time she tells me about the country place where she used to live and how beautiful it was….she still insists that I’m an angel. I offer to rub lotion and this time she declines. Veta is getting tired and I rise to leave. As always, I ask if there is something I can do, and as always, she asks me to pray that she dies. So, I cry and we hold hands and we pray. I give her a kiss good-bye and tell her I will see her on Wednesday.

Wednesday arrives. I walk into Veta’s room and it is strangely empty…Veta received the most beautiful answer to her prayer.

From JC, son of a hospice patient:
I wanted to share with you the positive impact Mike had on our family. Mike constantly brought us the reminder of God’s love in all our lives and in all situations. His support and guidance during a difficult time were extremely important and valued. My wife and I began trying to schedule some of our visits with my father for Mike was scheduled to be at the house. He provided my family, and especially my father, the courage to accept the situation and to look positively towards the future and of course to the time when he would no longer be in his earthly vessel.

Mike also provided me with a great example of how a person should give oneself to the service of others. Watching him and learning from his example, strengthens me to change the direction of what I expect from myself and how I want to give to others.

From JR, husband of a hospice patient:
I would like to tell you what a wonderful group of volunteers are with St. John's Mercy Hospice. They are a group that gives their time and energy to people that are very ill and in need of a cheerful face and a helping hand.

The volunteer for my wife…was a sweet and smiling lady who was always able to cheer up my wife. I will thank her forever.

This group of volunteers ask nothing in return. They are always willing to help and I would like them to know how much I appreciate them.